small groups

11.18.2012

Today I woke up so.. late !!

I slept til 3 pm… crazy.

I think it’s been quite awhile since I’ve slept in.

It felt kinda gross because it was like 13 hrs of sleep.

I ate lunch and then it was pretty much time to go to the small group meeting.

I enjoyed the small group meeting although only about half of the people were there.. I really liked how everyone shared about how their small groups were doing and I guess personal thoughts on small groups.

Yeah, I still have to figure out where my priorities lie in terms of small groups.

Hotpot was good actually. I hope people enjoyed it.

I hope ppl actually feel full !

I know maybe not everyone felt that they could really connect but I hope that they enjoyed at least the food or something.

I find that it’s really hard to get ppl involved unless they are willing to put themselves out there first.

Tmr, is duckhood hangout after church.

Chau and I will get to catch up with Ducky !

It’s going to be a long talk I think.

11.09.2012 PM

Helloooo……

Today was a really tiring day for some reason.

I stayed up really late to research something. It’s not related to school.

I had one class only today which I was really thankful for because I’m really tired.

I went home after and just bummed around /w Chau before work.

When I woke up today, Chau was still sleeping. I assumed she missed all her classes. And yes, she said she did.

I had a chance to talk to my new coworker Yang today.

She is so intense !!

I interrogated her and found out many things.

She’s from China, she came around 6 years ago so her English is actually pretty good.

In China, she trained professionally for badminton.

She even dropped out of school when she was 12-13 years old (Grade 7) because of badminton.

Like, it was really hard to keep up with the school work because they were never there regularly.

The team she was with always goes out of town for tournaments and training camps so when they come back, it’s hard to try and follow/ keep up with what the other regular people have been learning since the team had left.

She said that this is the reason why she decided to drop out of school.

I was really surprised that she said yes when I asked her if her parents were supportive.

I feel like if it were my parents, they would never let me do something like that.

My parents don’t really have faith in my abilities so they always question everything I’m doing and it makes me wonder if I’m ever doing the right thing.

My mom called yesterday night while I was in my night class.

I told her about what I was studying and that I was considering going to culinary school after my soc degree. She didn’t say much yet she wasn’t very supportive.

Sigh, I think it really hurts me because my parents are always so skeptical of everything I’m doing.

And, although I’m not 100% certain that I’m following the right path, their skeptism makes me feel really discouraged.

Anyways, back to Yang. Her boyfriend is the same case too.

Atm, he coaches badminton at Glenora. They both want to try out for the Olympic team. Crazy !

She told me her schedule, and it’s really insane how much training she has/ how much badminton she is playing per week.

But I guess it’s really awesome because it’s something she’s really passionate about.

She is very interesting.

Work was super super dead today. Even more so than the other day.

I only did 4 invoices today in total.

My right shoulder really hurts for some reason.

I think I’m getting old… having back problems already.

Or maybe it was from sleeping on the couch for an entire year back in high school..

Perhaps, I just need to lighten my backpack.

After work I just went home.

Tonight was roommate bonding time /w Chau.

We watched Mulan 2 and now she’s baking cookies for sunday. Yes, she’s in the kitchen lol

We’re going to watch Juno in a bit.

So these days I’ve been super tired. I don’t know if it’s because I sleep too late, I haven’t been paying attention but it feels like my mind is always preoccupied.

I don’t think I’m worried, but maybe I’m stressed out ? Hmm I’m not quite sure.

Funny story.

The other day when I was showering, I was so tired that I used bodywash as shampoo.

I was like “what am I doing…” At least it’s still just soap.

These weekend is going to be super busy.

Tomorrow I’ll be sharing my testimony (parts of it) to my small groups.

I wonder which parts I should share.. it’s too long to share the entire thing but I have to share some parts of it so it makes sense.

Tbh, I don’t really like sharing my testimony with ppl because I think I get really emotional even though it’s been a couple years now.

I just hope that I don’t get CSBed.

I pray God that you’ll be able to speak through me to my small group and that I will address whatever it is that is on your heart.

Prayers today are for the people who are away right now… Betty and Jerry, some of my small group members; Lawrence in Fort McMurray,  Steph (and Helen too I’m assuming) and Anh in Calgary.

I pray that God you’ll continue to protect these ppl wherever they go from any spiritual attacks and that you continue to light a way to their paths.

Psalms 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path

11.07.2012

It is 1:30 am !

Today was a long day.

I slept pretty early yesterday (for me) but I didn’t feel as rested as I thought I’d be when I woke up this morning.

I met up with a friend for lunch.

It was very random, and very last minute.

Robin is from Calgary but he was sent here for work to train some ppl before he leaves for vacation.

He’s going to go to Taiwan (he has family there) and Thailand so jelly !

The interesting story with him is that he’s my TA from Chinese School when I was in grade 4.

LOL yeah, funny how we still kept in touch !

I tried the viet sub place a little down whyte. It’s just past the railroad.

It’s not bad, a little small in my opinion but still good.

I had tutti frutti today as well. Sooo good. Haven’t had it for so long…

I also went to Gamma to buy Taiwanese pancakes so I could share with my soc friend Kelly but it was going to take too long so we had to leave. Robin had a curfew for work lol.

Soc stats class today was review for my midterm on thursday. I think I’m somewhat ready.

I had a chance to study with Kelly today at MS after prayer meeting, it was good.

Social psych class today was a bit of a fail. There were technical issues with the projector but anyways… I felt like I wasn’t really paying attention. I was really sleepy in that class for some reason.

Prayer meeting was really good today.

I was really encouraged by the girls that I was praying with.

Emily, whom I mentioned in my earlier posts that was not a Christian shared about how she’s going to try to follow Jesus and pursue her faith.

She said that she really encountered God through the people at SEAC. What really stood out to her was how welcoming we were. She told us about how her and her sister (Clara) were initially afraid to come to our church because they weren’t really religious and they thought people would judge them because they weren’t (Christian that is). But of course it’s not like that at all.

I was really encouraged by that.

Something that I need to pray about these days is whether or not I have my priorities wrong.

I feel like I’m doing something wrong because I feel like I can’t seem to encourage ppl in our small group to come out.

It might be because a lot of them are busy, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder if it’s just an excuse.

I know that I shouldn’t be thinking this way.

And I keep telling myself, like it doesn’t matter how many ppl come out, if one person shows up then it’s good already.

But it makes it really hard when ppl don’t seem to be very interested or unwilling.

I can’t shake off the feeling that I’m doing something wrong here.

I’ve been thinking that I’ve been spending a lot of time hanging out /w ppl outside of my small groups. (Some who I don’t see very often)

But whether or not it’s wrong for me to hang out with them and that I should be trying to hang out with ppl in my small group instead ?

My schedule does seem very busy so I really have a limited amount of time.

I don’t know, I do believe we need a balance.

That we should be trying to get to know our non-christian friends as well and I do believe there are ppl outside of small groups that need support and that God does call us to build into those ppl too.

I definitely need some time to pray about this..

But anyways, my mom called me today. I wonder what’s up.

I was in the library and my phone was dying so I wasn’t able to return her call.

Tmr is another day.

10.17.2012

I finished my first round of midterms today ! Yay !

My night class on Thursday got cancelled so I have more time now which I’ll probably use to study.

I received my first midterm test mark back today.

It was for soc 210 and PTL I actually did well ! It was higher than class avg is all I will say.

I have to say that it’s a gift from God because I haven’t received such a good mark since my spanish class in first year.

I wasn’t over-prepared for the exam or anything so it was not through my efforts although I can’t say that I didn’t put any efforts at all in keeping up with the material.

Tmr I’ll probably find out my CHRTC midterm mark which I’m actually pretty scared about.

But what’s past is past and I can only move on now..

Faith, faith !! I must have more faith in the Lord.

The social psych test was actually kind of hard today. Not in terms of the test itself but the wording of the test.

I felt really ESL, sometimes I couldn’t understand what the question was asking and I didn’t know some of the words they were using in the question (it’s not from the textbook or the lectures).

But anyways… there were some questions that were exactly the same as the practice midterm so I’m glad I actually did look that over !

I had Edo today ! It’s actually been so long since I’ve had Edo.

I believe it’s the first time I’ve Edo this school semester !

Yum, teriyaki chicken !! I think I’m going to attempt making it myself sometime in the near future.

It’s so expensive to eat out ! =(

I went to prayer meeting today.

Cyncyn was sharing about her summer and how she learned to place faith in God.

I really appreciated how she came to share even though she’s so busy this week.

I wonder if I’ll see her tmr in class..

I went to MS to study for a bit. But I left super early

I felt so distracted, and I just wasn’t absorbing the info I was reading.

I was studying for my music class and I haven’t done any of the readings yet so I decided to do that since I’m done midterms for now.

There’s so many names, songs, dates, cities and random crap that they refer to that I just don’t know in the book.

It’s kind of overwhelming.

Sometimes it’s interesting but for the most part I just don’t get it b/c it seems so messy.

Maybe it’s just today that I can’t absorb the info.

I’ll try again tmr.

So I went home to do my devos. I did them late today but I think I needed to do so.

My mother called me today.

Idk why but every time my mother calls me I just want to cry.

Perhaps I’m remembering the pain of the past again and I have to remind myself of where I am now. (I’m not at the same place anymore)

I have to say that I feel already overwhelmed with small groups.

There has been a lot of decision making that I’ve been having to do lately.

In terms of winter con, breakforth, work schedules for the break.

I really have to consider my financial situation. But I need to decide fast because the early bird deadline is coming up fast. The first being breakforth’s deadline this Sunday.

I didn’t realize how much I’d have to spend in November this year b/c I didn’t know of these deadlines but now I do !

And I feel like I am being tested by God now.

But I really need to make a decision soon… so I shall be praying for those things.

I actually feel so frustrated/stressed out about small groups already.

I feel like I’m not doing anything for my small groups, not trying hard enough.

So now while we’re trying to arrange a Bible study, times are just not working out and it’s so frustrating because I wish I had more time options for ppl but I can’t.

I can’t compromise work times and practice times for worship, winter con prep etc., but I’m willing to compromise my study times, free times, times allocated for myself.

This is something I knew I would do if I had to. It is what I have committed to when I decided to be a small group leader.

If ppl in my small group are in need, I will work around my study times to provide them /w support.

I am willing to do this.

The problem is being that those times that I have just don’t work out with other ppl’s.

But the realistic thing is that not everyone’s schedules are going to fit.

It’s just so frustrating still even knowing this.

Yes, in the end it’s still in God’s hands, so I should really be relieved in knowing this.